Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Is Maurice Ashley an Alien?

While watching the video commentary for the first game of the Kamsky-Shulman match, I was struck by the stunning enormity of Maurice Ashley's cranium.

I was reminded of the following dialogue about the exceptionally large-headed boy "Head" in So I Married An Axe Murderer:

Stuart: Look at the size of that boy's heed.
Tony: Shhh!
Stuart: I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.
Tony: Shhh, you're going to give the boy a complex.
Stuart: Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
Tony: Shh!
Stuart: Has it's own weather system.
Tony: Sh, sh, shh.
Stuart: HEAD! MOVE!
The suspiciously macrocephalous Ashley.

 
Since it's well-known that aliens--being approximately three times smarter than humans--need correspondingly expanded craniums to contain their oversized brains, an unusually large head is often a dead giveaway that an extra-terrestrial is in your midst.

Bearing that in mind, take a look at the rather extensive noggin in the photo to the right, and ask yourself: is Maurice Ashley an alien?

And if he is an alien (as is almost certainly the case) : what the heck are we gonna do about it?!

4 comments:

  1. All the more reason to storm area 51. Think of how many great chess players are there!

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  2. This is the kind of quality content I expect when I google a person to learn more after I WTF at the size of their head the first time I see them.

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  3. ITS OWN, not IT'S OWN.

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