Well, it looks like we've got ourselves an old-fashioned Sexy-Chick Smackdown in the US Women's Championship Finals, with #1 seed Anna "Zadonkadonk" Zatonskih facing off against Tatev "Totty the Hottie" Abrahamyan.
Personally, I've been rooting for Tatev throughout the event, having been smitten with her ever since she inflicted a crushing defeat upon me in a sidewalk blitz event in LA several years ago (plus she's Armenian, and I can't resist hairy women). The fact that Tatev was the second-lowest rated player in the tournament, yet is now within one match of being crowned Miss Chess America, really testifies to her skill.
Number-two seed (and 2010 champion) Irina "the Seahorse" Krush was unfortunately eliminated in the semifinal round, after putting up a heroic fight to extend her match vs. Zatonskih all the way to the last hurdle, before finally getting "tonsked" in the blitz phase.
(Some of my quillions of readers have asked why Krush is known as "the Seahorse." This stretches back to a cryptic comment made years ago by my friend Igor Yagglemeister, in connection with an obscure Russian saying about guinea pigs; but though no one quite grasped the Slavic allusion, the nickname stuck anyway, and is now in parlance among chessplayers from the towering cliffs of Sheboygan to the tapir-infested jungles of Boston. For what it's worth, the staff here at Chess Indeed don't think Krush resembles a seahorse at all, unless maybe in the schnozz area a little bit.)
Regarding the outcome of the final, Chess Indeed's man on the street Sir Robin of Sheboygan says: "I am hoping for a naked-Jell-O wrestling Armageddon match to decide the winner if they end up all tied!" A tie-break system I have been promoting to the USCF for quite some time now (with cream corn being an acceptable alternative to Jell-O).
Regarding the outcome of the final, Chess Indeed's man on the street Sir Robin of Sheboygan says: "I am hoping for a naked-Jell-O wrestling Armageddon match to decide the winner if they end up all tied!" A tie-break system I have been promoting to the USCF for quite some time now (with cream corn being an acceptable alternative to Jell-O).
In conclusion, I'd just like to wish Tatev inch bes es, which is Armenian for how are you, because I don't know how to say "good luck."
I hope it is lemon-lime Jell-o!
ReplyDeleteWhat, no whipping cream!?
ReplyDeleteIn pre-match negotations, Zatonskih (advised by her second, Bill Cosby) favored cherry Jell-O for the tie-break; a point which Abrahamyan conceded, provided the whipped cream would be heavy, rather than medium or light.
ReplyDeleteThe question of "sprinkles" is still being debated.